Being a mom is great, most of the time but sometimes the mom boredom can really bring you down. Don’t get me wrong, motherhood is fulfilling but sometimes you just crave more out of life. And that’s ok! For most women you go from a working environment to home one and that is a huge adjustment to make.
From being financially independent and being able to have adult conversations, and assuming you work in a field you are interested in, those conversations are interesting and mentally simulating. To listening to baby garble and not earning your own money, that’s a huge change. It’s not surprising that moments of boredom start creeping in. And unless your partner has been in those shoes, they don’t really understand how hard it is.
Recognising your own boredom
It is very easy to get stuck in the monotony of motherhood and every day life, the clean house, trip to the grocery store, feed kids, hang out the laundry… you catch my drift. Couple that with how lonely it can be when you are a mom. The lack of adult conversation, missing daily banter with a good friend from work, and maybe not having family members close by can make for a lonely existence.
Yes, there are other moms that you can be connecting with but your local moms group might not be the type of moms that are ‘your people’ so then what?
As a new mom I was lucky to find a group of fellow expats that were all interested in raising their kids bilingually. So, at least we had that in common. We met weekly, had a few hours playing with the kids in English and then we’d often have lunch together. Sometimes those weekly meetings are what got me through the week. Especially when my husband was working long days or working away.
As a stay-at-home parent I found I had some time and space to work on a creative project or two. Once the baby was down for nap time I found myself trying a new hobby or thinking up creative ways to make money whilst being at home as a bored stay-at-home mom. That how the Etsy shop came into existence!
Although I am a creative person, I decided the most important thing was to be proactive to overcome mom boredom. If you are feeling like your brain is turning to mush, here are some ideas to kick it up a notch.
Ditch Social Media
Okay, you don’t need to ditch it completely and yes, it can give us a feeling of connection. But it can also send you into mindless doom-scrolling. If you feel that you get stuck in this cycle then try using an app that limits the time you can spend on it. Or even just start by looking at your phone stats to see home much time you spend on your social media platform of choice. What positive, uplifting things could you have been doing with that time? Keep that in mind.
Decide on something you will do instead of doom-scrolling. The rest of the post might give you some ideas. Write it down.
Visit a local museum or gallery
You will probably have to take the kids along too, but being somewhere new gives you new insights, thing to think about and talk about. It could spark an interest or get you curious about something you have never even thought about before. Follow that thought, see where it takes you. Museums and galleries are no longer the stuffy, boring places they used to be. Many have fun activities for the kids and for adults too. They may have classes or other events to join. Check out the website and make a note in your schedule of anything coming up.
If you worry about how to handle the kids in gallery, then The Gallery & Museum Survival Guide For Parents is a quick read and has fun ideas to make it less stressful!
Get onto Google and find out about your local museums/galleries. Check out what is coming up in the next couple of months and pop it into your scheduler.
100 days of…
The choice if yours! Having a challenge like this can really help you push yourself out of your comfort zone and get you into the habit of doing something fun. It could be 100 days of doodles, I loved the Skillshare Class by Tap Tap Boom. When I first got procreate on the iPad, I knew I needed to be consistent in practicing so I followed the class and picked 100 days of international sweet treats as my subject. My topic was cakes/treats and I pushed myself to try different brushes and techniques over the 100 days.
More 100 days ideas…
- Hair styling
- New recipes
- Foreign language learning
- Writing haiku
- Hula Hooping
- Music lessons
It really can be anything! Just pick something that you feel will be fun and even if it is your first time, it’s a great way to increase your skills in a short space of time.
Pick something to do for 100 days and proclaim it as so in the Moms That Rock group.
Mom Boredom be gone by Taking A Class
One thing I hear often is that with mom boredom, it is the lack of stimulating conversation on topics that you are interested in, which is a problem. There are loads of in-person and online classes you can take on every subject out there. Learning new things is great for your mental health and will help you connect with like-minded people. It might be a good chance to further your education, especially if you are planning on returning back to work once the kids are older.
Write down a list of 10 things that you would like to learn about. It can include something to advance your career or professional skills or something you’d just like to try for fun.
Pick one then find a course, sign up.
Write That Book
It is said, that everyone has a book inside them. What’s yours? The great thing about writing is that you can do it around the kids’ needs. You could use the child’s quiet time as your writing time (I’m not a fan of doing the housework when the baby naps nonsense!). If you have taken time off to be a SAHM this could be the perfect time to leverage that ‘gap in your resume’! Either by writing the next best selling cozy murder mystery novel or a non-fiction book highlighting your unique talent or professional skills.
Just start! You don’t need NaNoWriMo to get started, but if you do need some structure you can steal their set up. If it is nonfiction you are writing, I recommend
Destination Author: A Guide to the Adventure of Writing Your First Non-Fiction Book as a good place to start.
Get Outside To Alliviate kid and mom boredom
Try and get outside daily. I know this is one of those things that people harp on about all the time, but it really helps. Not only for you but for the kids too. Unless the weather is awful, some fresh air can completely change your mood and has loads of health benefits too. Try going to a different park or, depending on the age of your kids, go for a bike ride. Set yourselves challenges like spotting 10 different animals (animals’ signs count!) or collecting something for each colour of the rainbow.
Make a list of things you can do outside so that you don’t have to think about it when the time comes that you need a change of air. You can just pick something off the list and go.
Turn your errands into missions
We all have things that we have to do and often we have the kids in tow, which, as you know, means it will take three times longer than if we did it alone.
I digress… words such as chores and errands sounds so b-o-r-i-n-g. So give them fun new titles. And give yourself and the kids titles too, describe your mission to the kids, get creative here and off you go. Play acting, taking on silly roles, and pretending to be someone different can make a boring job more bearable. And in the kids’ eyes, you go from being a bored mother to a fun mom!
Think of an errand you need to do this week. How can you reframe it so it sounds more exciting? EG, You have an errand to take a parcel to the post office. You could reframe this as a top secret present for the President of Outer Mongolia. Get the kids to help create the story. What is the present? What will the president do with it? Is it for his birthday or is it. a thank you gift? Let your imaginations run wild.
Turn off the TV
Or rather, be very intentional with your TV viewing. When you have the TV on in the background all the time, you don’t really pay attention to it, it just becomes noise. Or you get hooked on numerous shows and by the time you have sat down and watched your 3 favourite shows of the day, a good chunk of your time has disappeared. Then the old excuse of not having time to do your own thing comes into play. Instead, pick one show a day and when it is finished, turn it off. Need some background noise to keep you sane? Try listening to music or podcasts instead.
Decide what you are going to watch.
What did you love when you were a kid?
This is a great exercise and is often something you can start doing again. Brainstorm all the things you used to love as a kid, from colouring to climbing trees, building forts out of sofa cushions and blankets and baking cupcakes. Chances are, if you loved doing those kinds of things, your kids will too. It might give you some new ideas of things to do with the kids and a way to have some quality time together whilst reducing screen time. win-win!
Write a list of all the things you liked to do as a child.
Switch Things Up
If, like me, you easily get bored with doing the same thing. Switch things up.
- Take a different route to the supermarket
- Try a new park
- Pick a new recipe to try each week
- Listen to a different podcast
- Change your Spotify playlist
- Do your hair/make-up differently
- Move the furniture around
- Try a new brand of tea (gasp of horror by all the Brits reading 🙂 )
Pick something you are going to do differently this week
This can be hard if you don’t have anyone to mind the kids. So if you can’t take the date night out… bring it home. Get dressed up, do your hair, order in a nice meal, plate it up. Light some candles and put on some nice music. Take your time over the meal rather than the usual throw it down your neck and get the dishwasher/washing up done. Pay attention to each other and talk. Being parents of young kids can be hard work and this season of life can be draining, so make sure that you are still connecting with your partner.
Pop a date night date in the schedule every month. If you can get a baby sitter, great. If not, come up with some thing you can do at home. Learn to cook a new dish together, wine tasting, play board games, take a YouTube salsa lesson in your living room.
Meet Up With Your Girlfriends
This too can be tricky depending on your situation and the loss of pleasure from hanging out with girlfriends can be huge. Even if it is hard to meet up in person, FaceTime them, send a message. Your girl friends are the ones that will help you get through the hard times and the bad days, so be proactive in keeping in touch.
Message a girlfriend right now and set a date for a coffee, either in real life of a zoom chat.
Learn with the kids
I’m not talking about cracking open the drill books here. There are many things that you can learn alongside young children. From folding origami, crocheting monsters, growing vegetables or even learning about the world with 193 Little Adventures – it surprised me how many parents said how much they enjoy learning alongside their kids as they go through the packs.
What kind of things are your kids interested in? What can you learn about together?
Set A Goal
If you set yourself a challenge to reach a goal, you will find yourself thinking about it a lot. Your brain is wired to find solutions, so the more challenging the goal, the higher the interest level. It could be to set X amount aside for a family holiday or how to solve a community problem. It could mean getting involved with a volunteer group or doing some research on a certain issue, such as becoming a carbon zero family. The goal needs to be something that is interesting for you.
Set a date and specific goal, then go for it!
At the end of the day, there are different ways to tackle mom boredom, but the only person who can make a change is you. If you feel like you have no free time (Join us in Wonder Moms to learn how to create more time) then the best thing to do is pick one small thing to do on a daily basis. There are plenty of things you can do, no matter your personal situation. By taking the step to feed your brain, you will, by default become a better mom and role model for your kids.
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I’m your friendly guide to a life of passion and productivity. I focus on supporting moms who want to turn their dreams into reality by building businesses that revolve around their families. I do this through the Wonder Mom Success Club.
I’m also the brains behind the 193 Little Adventures Club where we take your family on a virtual adventure to a new country every month. And a Montessori best-selling author.
I’m on a mission to inspire and help you, all while having a ton of fun along the way.